Deus Ex Alpha

Walking into my kitchen about 20 minutes ago, I hear a scratching. Familiar to me from about 9 years ago, I don my protection gear (I.E put on trousers and trainers), grab a broom, dim the lights, sit on the counter, and wait the bastard out.

It pops out, and I spring into action, and smash the fucker right on it's back. This is the first time it had actually worked for me, as when I was younger my reaction time was awful.

Me, being so happy with my success, lifted the broom. Needless to say, the tricky little shit sprung out at the most rapid speed, and hid somewhere in the floor heating system.

This, this is war.

Why not use a steak knife?

I used that when I saw a mouse, pricked the thing over and over again until it stopped moving. Made squealing noises.

Best topic ever

cataclyzm wrote:Why not use a steak knife?

I used that when I saw a mouse, pricked the thing over and over again until it stopped moving. Made squealing noises.

Not long enough reach, these mice are quick as fuck, unless you're Solid Snake or some shit, stabbing this is like stabbing a bullet.

I've got a pair of kukri my late uncle gave to me. Maybe I'll try those.

I might as well make a show of it, from the droppings I found (two), and no piss streaks anywhere, I think it's at most 2 mice. Possibly even one.

Alternatively, I could borrow a cat for the day.

Not long enough reach, these mice are quick as fuck, unless you're Solid Snake or some shit, stabbing this is like stabbing a bullet.

The idea is to use a mousetrap. When the fucker is trapped there, you'll know by the short squeaks pleading for freedom as it struggles to move. What you do next is, get a large steel knife and start making small pokes around its neck. Then, as if you would be peeling an orange, dab the knife in the thing's neck close to its head, and begin moving forward and back, slightly downward with each stroke. You'll notice by this time the short squeaks have evolved into long, mad child-like screams. Keep doing the strokes, watch out for the blood that may spurt out at any given moment. The screams will fade into short, loud gurgles. Keep stroking away, moving slower and slower downward. You'll feel a cracking sound; you've snapped the thing's arteries and veins. Don't let this bother you though. About halfway cut through the neck, stroke faster and faster as you hear more gurgles and blood pools out, dripping from the knife. More crunchy noises will appear; keep stroking until you have the neck almost completely cut. You'll notice the mouse's eyes will blink, some distinct sounds of blood rushing out of the cut arteries.

Once the head is off, dispose of the carcass as you see fit. I threw it out on the street in a paper bag.

Alternatively you can go David from RE:Outbreak and tie a butcher knife to the end of a stick (like a broom) with duct tape, and try spearing the poor sap.

I used a basketball

cataclyzm wrote:

Not long enough reach, these mice are quick as fuck, unless you're Solid Snake or some shit, stabbing this is like stabbing a bullet.

The idea is to use a mousetrap. When the fucker is trapped there, you'll know by the short squeaks pleading for freedom as it struggles to move. What you do next is, get a large steel knife and start making small pokes around its neck. Then, as if you would be peeling an orange, dab the knife in the thing's neck close to its head, and begin moving forward and back, slightly downward with each stroke. You'll notice by this time the short squeaks have evolved into long, mad child-like screams. Keep doing the strokes, watch out for the blood that may spurt out at any given moment. The screams will fade into short, loud gurgles. Keep stroking away, moving slower and slower downward. You'll feel a cracking sound; you've snapped the thing's arteries and veins. Don't let this bother you though. About halfway cut through the neck, stroke faster and faster as you hear more gurgles and blood pools out, dripping from the knife. More crunchy noises will appear; keep stroking until you have the neck almost completely cut. You'll notice the mouse's eyes will blink, some distinct sounds of blood rushing out of the cut arteries.

Once the head is off, dispose of the carcass as you see fit. I threw it out on the street in a paper bag.

Alternatively you can go David from RE:Outbreak and tie a butcher knife to the end of a stick (like a broom) with duct tape, and try spearing the poor sap.

Yeah I wouldn't put it past you to do that.

cataclyzm wrote:

Not long enough reach, these mice are quick as fuck, unless you're Solid Snake or some shit, stabbing this is like stabbing a bullet.

The idea is to use a mousetrap. When the fucker is trapped there, you'll know by the short squeaks pleading for freedom as it struggles to move. What you do next is, get a large steel knife and start making small pokes around its neck. Then, as if you would be peeling an orange, dab the knife in the thing's neck close to its head, and begin moving forward and back, slightly downward with each stroke. You'll notice by this time the short squeaks have evolved into long, mad child-like screams. Keep doing the strokes, watch out for the blood that may spurt out at any given moment. The screams will fade into short, loud gurgles. Keep stroking away, moving slower and slower downward. You'll feel a cracking sound; you've snapped the thing's arteries and veins. Don't let this bother you though. About halfway cut through the neck, stroke faster and faster as you hear more gurgles and blood pools out, dripping from the knife. More crunchy noises will appear; keep stroking until you have the neck almost completely cut. You'll notice the mouse's eyes will blink, some distinct sounds of blood rushing out of the cut arteries.

Once the head is off, dispose of the carcass as you see fit. I threw it out on the street in a paper bag.

Alternatively you can go David from RE:Outbreak and tie a butcher knife to the end of a stick (like a broom) with duct tape, and try spearing the poor sap.

Are you balanced?

Also, I'm going to use a translucent tunnel, so I can trap it in there, and then sneak up on it and stab it INSIDE the tunnel. If I miss that could go horribly wrong though, because they can fit through 6mm gaps, and that is probably 6mm wide.

XII//:Protocol wrote:

cataclyzm wrote:

Not long enough reach, these mice are quick as fuck, unless you're Solid Snake or some shit, stabbing this is like stabbing a bullet.

The idea is to use a mousetrap. When the fucker is trapped there, you'll know by the short squeaks pleading for freedom as it struggles to move. What you do next is, get a large steel knife and start making small pokes around its neck. Then, as if you would be peeling an orange, dab the knife in the thing's neck close to its head, and begin moving forward and back, slightly downward with each stroke. You'll notice by this time the short squeaks have evolved into long, mad child-like screams. Keep doing the strokes, watch out for the blood that may spurt out at any given moment. The screams will fade into short, loud gurgles. Keep stroking away, moving slower and slower downward. You'll feel a cracking sound; you've snapped the thing's arteries and veins. Don't let this bother you though. About halfway cut through the neck, stroke faster and faster as you hear more gurgles and blood pools out, dripping from the knife. More crunchy noises will appear; keep stroking until you have the neck almost completely cut. You'll notice the mouse's eyes will blink, some distinct sounds of blood rushing out of the cut arteries.

Once the head is off, dispose of the carcass as you see fit. I threw it out on the street in a paper bag.

Alternatively you can go David from RE:Outbreak and tie a butcher knife to the end of a stick (like a broom) with duct tape, and try spearing the poor sap.

Are you balanced?

Also, I'm going to use a translucent tunnel, so I can trap it in there, and then sneak up on it and stab it INSIDE the tunnel. If I miss that could go horribly wrong though, because they can fit through 6mm gaps, and that is probably 6mm wide.

Of course I am.

I don't like killing small animals but that's the only way I see fit to remove the thing from this world for intruding in your space.

Heard the bastard in the wall this morning.

His days are very, very numbered.

I once killed a mouse using a rod.
And once I had a mouse on this room, where my computer is. Quite hilarious. I was sitting here, using PC and such and that mouse simply walks in and explores, around my feet. Of course, as nice as I am, I don't do anything and I let it walk around. But the day after I placed some poison and it died.

never saw a mice / rat a part the ones in cages

NEver seen one in my home, I shit my self of rats, I would punch a 7ft 24st man but not go near a rat

All I got was a pistol and an electric prod, I don't mind a test, but UNATCO better issue me some hardware.