So.
Me, sum bros, and sum hos were rollin'.
Everyone piles into McDonalds to get lunch, because we were all hungry. Two of us stay outside, as usual. Squashing beef before it can happen.
Before you know it, the plastic police roll up and hop off their bikes, and ask why we were loitering on the PARK BENCH opposite McDonalds. (No Max, we weren't in Lewisham this time. Lewisham has no park benches.) We say we were just sitting down, waiting for our friends to come out. They refuse to believe this, and think that this is time to flex their pathetic muscles.
Suddenly, the Spanish inquisition appears, and I'm getting asked questions on everything I own.
"Awfully shiny "Nintendah" you got there. Looks new, where'd you get it?"
"Internet"
"You sure? A gold one is pretty strange, you sure you got that from the internet?"
"Ye-"
"Mate, don't joke with me. You sure?"
"No, I stole it. I'm sorry, arrest me."
"Joker eh?"
So, he moves onto my shoes, my hat, my watch, the chain in my pocket WITH MY GODDAMN NAME INSCRIBED ON IT, he takes off my backpack and searches through it, taking out and making me put back in, every item in there.
Eventually, he is satisfied that he is now officially a policeman. Except without the power.
And two minutes later, with them still hanging over us, our friends come out. Moran forgot my straw so I had to walk back in. I told them I'd meet them at the bus stop.
I come out, go to the lights, and the halfwits are back again. This time they have a new bone to pick, apparently my T-Shirt is racist. It's one of those ones that say "Danger, Educated Black Man" on it. According to him, and I fucking quote-
"People of the black persuasion- (lol persuasion, like it's a lifestyle choice) may be offended by my T-Shirt"
And as a result made me stand there, made US miss the bus, all because he had to demonstrate his glorious authority complex with me, through filing a written warning.
No wonder these wankers are getting beat up, stabbed and spat at left right and center. If I was a generalising person I'd probably do the same.
(in b4 hypocrisy, it's intentional)