GET A REAL FUCKING JOB LIKE BINMAN
Posted: Wed Jun 25, 08 8:55 pmSo by now you probably know that PCSO's are the bane of my existence.
And every time I manage to get it JUST out of my mind, they pop up again.
Gentlemen, this one is a kicker.
So I have no school today. I have a letter proving that, which I photocopied and brought out with me. Anyone that has the power to stop me enjoying my free day WILL TRY AND STOP ME.
So, the fucking second I get out of my door, I look across the square, and I notice two walking PCSO's.
I ignore them, never make yourself conspicuous. I walk to the bus stop, and they appear from the corner, and follow me to the stop.
They get on the same bus I get on, looking directly at me the entire time.
Here's the first thing that gets me pissed. I get off the bus, and of course they do. Coincidence probably right? I'm in the epicenter of South-East London, maybe they came here to prevent some actual crime.
LOL NO
We walk past TK Max, and a kid MY AGE, runs out with the things beeping and darts down the road. They glance at him and keep following me. I wonder WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE GETTING PAID FOR when they IGNORE ACTUAL CRIME to follow POTENTIAL crime.
So, I reach Footlocker, and I look in, and see a pair of trainers I've been saving for. (I did that business idea, I've got customers for the next 2 months, best idea I ever had).
JUST SO YOU CAN SEE
I ask for them in my size, they bring them out and I love them.
I hand over the £60 and cringe just, just a little bit at the price these things cost.
I notice a hat I like on the way out, only £15. I buy it and walk out.
BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP
I shout FUCK and turn around and go back in. Stupid cashier must have not removed the BLATANT TAG ON THE HAT.
I walk back and the cashier is already running to me shouting apologies.
2 seconds later I get a fucking punch in the smalls of my back and assume I'm about to be robbed, I spin around and am about half an inch away from elbowing one of the aforementioned dickhead PCSO's in the face.
He recoils holding his face.
I know I didn't hit him, nothing connected. The other PCSO catches up and is shouting random shit at me, I know this is the end of my morning.
The cashier returns with an untagged hat. I wonder when she took it and am now free to run.
So I do.
I vault over the nearest bench, and sprint out of the shop. Running full speed out of the center, I hear the intro to 'Flashing Lights'. I look down at my pocket and by the time I look up again all I see is the largest motherfucking security guard I have seen in all of my life standing right in front of me.
I duck slightly and accidentally spear him to the ground. I thank Physics for existing and I catch sight of the P4 just arriving at the bus stop.
Pushing my way through the small crowd that has amassed looking on at the downed guard, I keep on running.
Thankfully, there is one more person to get on the P4, and I slink in behind him, and the P4 pulls away.
I answer my phone, turns out one of my schoolmates got nabbed for "Truancy" and is asking me to bring some proof that today is a day off if I can.
When will it end?
And every time I manage to get it JUST out of my mind, they pop up again.
Gentlemen, this one is a kicker.
So I have no school today. I have a letter proving that, which I photocopied and brought out with me. Anyone that has the power to stop me enjoying my free day WILL TRY AND STOP ME.
So, the fucking second I get out of my door, I look across the square, and I notice two walking PCSO's.
I ignore them, never make yourself conspicuous. I walk to the bus stop, and they appear from the corner, and follow me to the stop.
They get on the same bus I get on, looking directly at me the entire time.
Here's the first thing that gets me pissed. I get off the bus, and of course they do. Coincidence probably right? I'm in the epicenter of South-East London, maybe they came here to prevent some actual crime.
LOL NO
We walk past TK Max, and a kid MY AGE, runs out with the things beeping and darts down the road. They glance at him and keep following me. I wonder WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE GETTING PAID FOR when they IGNORE ACTUAL CRIME to follow POTENTIAL crime.
So, I reach Footlocker, and I look in, and see a pair of trainers I've been saving for. (I did that business idea, I've got customers for the next 2 months, best idea I ever had).
JUST SO YOU CAN SEE
I ask for them in my size, they bring them out and I love them.
I hand over the £60 and cringe just, just a little bit at the price these things cost.
I notice a hat I like on the way out, only £15. I buy it and walk out.
BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP
I shout FUCK and turn around and go back in. Stupid cashier must have not removed the BLATANT TAG ON THE HAT.
I walk back and the cashier is already running to me shouting apologies.
2 seconds later I get a fucking punch in the smalls of my back and assume I'm about to be robbed, I spin around and am about half an inch away from elbowing one of the aforementioned dickhead PCSO's in the face.
He recoils holding his face.
I know I didn't hit him, nothing connected. The other PCSO catches up and is shouting random shit at me, I know this is the end of my morning.
The cashier returns with an untagged hat. I wonder when she took it and am now free to run.
So I do.
I vault over the nearest bench, and sprint out of the shop. Running full speed out of the center, I hear the intro to 'Flashing Lights'. I look down at my pocket and by the time I look up again all I see is the largest motherfucking security guard I have seen in all of my life standing right in front of me.
I duck slightly and accidentally spear him to the ground. I thank Physics for existing and I catch sight of the P4 just arriving at the bus stop.
Pushing my way through the small crowd that has amassed looking on at the downed guard, I keep on running.
Thankfully, there is one more person to get on the P4, and I slink in behind him, and the P4 pulls away.
I answer my phone, turns out one of my schoolmates got nabbed for "Truancy" and is asking me to bring some proof that today is a day off if I can.
When will it end?
. At one point, one of the Traceurs told him "While you're talking to us, there's probably someone 'round the corner selling drugs." and he said "Fair play to them."
