fffffffffff
Posted: Tue Aug 19, 08 11:17 pm
So this summer, we've been trying to make some progress on my illness. I've been trying to get up for 10 or so and sticking it out.
It was all going well
Until this evening
My mum called me on the intercom phone thing and said - Time to go
I wondered what the fuck she meant, and asked how come I've gotta' sleep now. I understand that slowly I've gotta' ease myself back into sleeping earlier because it's hard as it is. But I protest, I have two weeks left. Typical response etc.
Then, she proceeds to tell me, I have to get up earlier from now on and chart my progress.
I tell her that it is a serious struggle to do shit at 10am, even getting to the toilet makes me want to violently retch in my mouth at 9.30.
She tells me I have to get up earlier to chart my progress and that I am wrong, I should still be up earlier. She tells me I do not know best.
You see, this is the problem. Coincidentally, waking up late is beneficial to me, as I feel less ill as the day goes on, to it dissipating around 1pm.
I assumed my mother understood this and supported that, taking baby steps.
But suddenly, during summer, all of this is forgotten.
It only contributes to my suspicions. School don't actually care, they just need me in to show the best and brightest all attend school and no opportunity is wasted blah blah blah percentage of attendance.
Hospital definitely don't care, can't blame them. They see cancer patients and people who have it alot worse than I do every day.
But it's a little disheartening to see that my mother- despite her caring, which she must do, she's a mother. But she doesn't seem to understand. That or she thinks I'm a liar\hypochondriac.
Ah well, looks like I'm on my own with it again, it's been that way for 5 years, I should not have expected things to change now.
It was all going well
Until this evening
My mum called me on the intercom phone thing and said - Time to go
I wondered what the fuck she meant, and asked how come I've gotta' sleep now. I understand that slowly I've gotta' ease myself back into sleeping earlier because it's hard as it is. But I protest, I have two weeks left. Typical response etc.
Then, she proceeds to tell me, I have to get up earlier from now on and chart my progress.
I tell her that it is a serious struggle to do shit at 10am, even getting to the toilet makes me want to violently retch in my mouth at 9.30.
She tells me I have to get up earlier to chart my progress and that I am wrong, I should still be up earlier. She tells me I do not know best.
You see, this is the problem. Coincidentally, waking up late is beneficial to me, as I feel less ill as the day goes on, to it dissipating around 1pm.
I assumed my mother understood this and supported that, taking baby steps.
But suddenly, during summer, all of this is forgotten.
It only contributes to my suspicions. School don't actually care, they just need me in to show the best and brightest all attend school and no opportunity is wasted blah blah blah percentage of attendance.
Hospital definitely don't care, can't blame them. They see cancer patients and people who have it alot worse than I do every day.
But it's a little disheartening to see that my mother- despite her caring, which she must do, she's a mother. But she doesn't seem to understand. That or she thinks I'm a liar\hypochondriac.
Ah well, looks like I'm on my own with it again, it's been that way for 5 years, I should not have expected things to change now.