Deus Ex Alpha

So, last night after coming home from my mates, a bunch of drunk louts start following me, saying I looked like a girl, and generally being fucking pervy. For a while, I just ignored them, until a: they started following me down a dirt-track (no pun intended), and b: one of them tried to pinch my butt. At this point, I back-kicked the arsehole in... something boney. The other louts make their intentions known to kick eight shades of shit out of me, so I peg it at full throttle down a hidden path and hide for a while.
These louts go to the normal exit I take, so I either had to go back to my mate's place (impossible, he was asleep), take on about 6 drunks on my own (impossible, and running to my door is out of the question due to a dodgey lock), or walk through thorns, the edge of a motorway, and pitch black darkness to get home (wholly unreasonable).
Obviously, I ended up picking the latter. It took about 1 1/2 hours to get home that way, when it should've took 5 minutes. I am less than amused.

too long; didn't read: I look like a girl at night to pissheads, thorns = ow, I must take some kind of self-defence weapon with me due to being useless in a fight.

So, last night after coming home from my mates, a bunch of drunk louts start following me, saying I looked like a girl, and generally being fucking pervy

HUEHEUEHEUEHEUEHEUEHEUEHEUE

hidden escape option: haircutz

Rape alarm. That's pretty much it for legal self-defence in the UK.

Just cut your hair, seriously. I'm not being sarky or anything but that's terrible attention.

Tantalus wrote:Rape alarm. That's pretty much it for legal self-defence in the UK.

Gaaaaaaaaay.
*mental note: find para-legal self-defence methods*

James wrote:Just cut your hair, seriously. I'm not being sarky or anything but that's terrible attention.

...spose so.

u shuda thrown pokeball at them allan

Pvt Desperate Dan wrote:u shuda thrown pokeball at them allan

Wasted 'em all on Catapee.

stupid worm thing.

would tell you to own a gun

but

get a decent haircut, start going to the gym, stop playing pokemon, i.e. sort your life out and shit like this doesn't happen bro

Or don't ever go out like MainGirl to avoid it lol

Mastakilla wrote:Or don't ever go out like MainGirl to avoid it lol

Or this basically.

Dont get a self defense weapon unless its a mace or something and you are certain you are faster than them on your feet, or if you want to end up dead/more seriously wounded than being a mere punching bag for 6 drunkards.
Even a tough man will split when facing 6, if he has any wits.

I go out quite regularly? Where are these assumptions coming from?

MainMan wrote:I go out quite regularly? Where are these assumptions coming from?

Anime told us

Ken wrote:Dont get a self defense weapon unless its a mace or something and you are certain you are faster than them on your feet, or if you want to end up dead/more seriously wounded than being a mere punching bag for 6 drunkards.
Even a tough man will split when facing 6, if he has any wits.

This is good advice

Just do this;

a; Wear a T-Shirt which has no sleeves and probably it having hood, So you hide your hair.. If you don't have a hood T-Shirt, just wear a jacket above it which has a hood.

b; Don't put glasses while outside as much as possible, wear lenses if needed. Try not wearing sunglasses at the morning, because it hides your face.

Just stare someone with a scary impression when the dude is being an ass. Don't be scared, try backing him off. Run away if necessary, drunk people can't run well. Be sure not to run into a small alley or something, a big main road so you can run easily.

This method will make you not cut your hair.

Or you can grow a beard and stare at them with crazy eyes making it pretty much obvious that you probably carry a knife or a few. While Ive opted for this method it may or may not suit you

Ken wrote:Or you can grow a beard and stare at them with crazy eyes making it pretty much obvious that you probably carry a knife or a few. While Ive opted for this method it may or may not suit you

Actually, this method sounds right up my alleyway.

TO MENTION MORE;

Don't really have to hide your hair, just wear a T-Shirt.. although it might be cold there.


Beard makes you scary on US or something, here it's a sign of peaceful people. You get robbed if you have beard.

DJ if you have a blonde or red beard youd probably still look edgy enough around there

Allan I think its best to just be yourself, if you look like a cute animal right now then try to pick appropriate times and routes for your travel as well as company. Just be yourself. Regardless of physique or appearance everybody can train martial arts, for example, and you get in good shape just by practicing that, should that sound appealing. Martial arts play an important role in my word as more than anything it allows you to feel your body, unite the mind and body as well as just clearing your mind. You dont have to be 100 kilo bald fuck with nunchaku shoved up your ass to achieve that.

You know, funny thing is, and this is no joke, me and a m8 of mine JUST yesterday were bothered by a group of high-as-fuck strangers, younger than us I think by 2 or 3 years, but they started calling my m8 (who had the same hairstyle as you) a hippie and shit. I just stopped in my tracks, started laughing, and went like "Haha, that's funny, but seriously, if you continue to follow I'll stab you in the kidney with a knife." They thought I was joking so they started laughing, but I just stared at one of them and starting yelling in a foreign language as harsh as I could, also spat in their direction like fifty times. I only regret not actually beating the shit out of one of the fuckers

They eventually left. Moral of the story, just look crazy and you'll be fine.

Solution?

CORNROWS.

That shit wont work unless youre a dark skinned specimen

Lol Derek, solve impossible situation with renegade feat unlocked.

How about all the guys in this thread just stop being absolute freaks like I suggested earlier? Just become normal and this shit doesn't happen, you don't need to act like more of a nutcase to deter them - just don't attract them in the first place. If nothing else, just become one of the drunk louts in the first place.

FINALLY

MainMan wrote:I go out quite regularly? Where are these assumptions coming from?

Here

MainMan wrote:How about all the guys in this thread just stop being absolute freaks like I suggested earlier? Just become normal and this shit doesn't happen, you don't need to act like more of a nutcase to deter them - just don't attract them in the first place. If nothing else, just become one of the drunk louts in the first place.

Do you think drunk pricks in a group will leave you alone because YOU'RE SO NORMAL?
Think again

Yeah theres a little better chance of shit not happening but the entire reasoning in mainman's post is simply pathetic. Youre a fucking bit in the system. The entire concept of individuality is so far beyond your narrow-minded perception of this world that even a severe head trauma will not allow you to begin to grasp it all. I laugh at the different prevalent race theories fed to the dumb masses, but your kind is so much more inferior to the open-minded that you might as well be a worthless shape that I might have the misfortune of passing by on the streets.

Mastakilla wrote:Do you think drunk pricks in a group will leave you alone because YOU'RE SO NORMAL?
Think again

This loads.

MainMan wrote:How about all the guys in this thread just stop being absolute freaks like I suggested earlier? Just become normal and this shit doesn't happen, you don't need to act like more of a nutcase to deter them - just don't attract them in the first place. If nothing else, just become one of the drunk louts in the first place.

good troll 6/10