I'm here to talk to you today, about a real mans game.
Posted: Mon Apr 19, 10 11:41 pmI think we can all agree I haven't made a serious post here in a good long time.
Times change.
Now, as I said, I'm here to talk to you about a real mans game. Not ARMA2, albeit a mans game, it is not a MANS game. No. I'm here to talk to you about Monster Hunter, and if you don't have it in your life already, I am here to explain why it SHOULD be in your life.
Reason One:
It doesn't care about your time. Monster Hunter has nothing built into the game to make it easier for you than it should be. It doesn't give a fuck that it's on a portable platform, you are going to give it the amount of time it wants you to give it. Are you going to hunt this Khezu? Are you? On the train? Sure you are. But you are also going to be hunting for it when you get off, and when you get on your bus, and as you walk to your house.
Reason Two:
It doesn't care about your feelings. At first, when you play monster hunter you will be taken aback by why everything takes SO FUCKING LONG to do. This is deliberate. It is a test of your faith, Monster Hunter wants to know if you are the kind of man who puts the game down when it does something you don't like. When you consume a potion, it takes no less than three seconds for the completion animation to play. In that time, you can die in Monster Hunter. You CAN, and WILL die in those three seconds. You must learn to dance the dance.
Reason Three:
It doesn't care about your culture. Do you have a PSP? Probably not. If you do, and you don't own Monster Hunter then you are a homosexual. I can make these kind of statements because I play Monster Hunter. Do you play Monster Hunter? No? Then how do you know you are not a homosexual. But I digress, Monster Hunter does not care about you, or your friends. When you buy it, I can almost guarantee that because you do not live in a far eastern Asian country, you will have absolutely no-one to play Ad-Hoc wireless with. Contrary to popular belief, this is not a design flaw. This is Monster Hunter again, testing your faith. Are you the kind of man who shuts the fuck up and deals with shit on your own? Or are you the kind of guy who convinces every single one of his friends to buy a PSP, or at least buy Monster Hunter. Do you know why X-Link Kai is such a bitch to setup? Because Monster Hunter doesn't give a fuck how much you dislike it. You will either play it on your own, as I do, or you will man up and install that bitch.
Go buy Monster Hunter. Right the fuck now.
Times change.
Now, as I said, I'm here to talk to you about a real mans game. Not ARMA2, albeit a mans game, it is not a MANS game. No. I'm here to talk to you about Monster Hunter, and if you don't have it in your life already, I am here to explain why it SHOULD be in your life.
Reason One:
It doesn't care about your time. Monster Hunter has nothing built into the game to make it easier for you than it should be. It doesn't give a fuck that it's on a portable platform, you are going to give it the amount of time it wants you to give it. Are you going to hunt this Khezu? Are you? On the train? Sure you are. But you are also going to be hunting for it when you get off, and when you get on your bus, and as you walk to your house.
Reason Two:
It doesn't care about your feelings. At first, when you play monster hunter you will be taken aback by why everything takes SO FUCKING LONG to do. This is deliberate. It is a test of your faith, Monster Hunter wants to know if you are the kind of man who puts the game down when it does something you don't like. When you consume a potion, it takes no less than three seconds for the completion animation to play. In that time, you can die in Monster Hunter. You CAN, and WILL die in those three seconds. You must learn to dance the dance.
Reason Three:
It doesn't care about your culture. Do you have a PSP? Probably not. If you do, and you don't own Monster Hunter then you are a homosexual. I can make these kind of statements because I play Monster Hunter. Do you play Monster Hunter? No? Then how do you know you are not a homosexual. But I digress, Monster Hunter does not care about you, or your friends. When you buy it, I can almost guarantee that because you do not live in a far eastern Asian country, you will have absolutely no-one to play Ad-Hoc wireless with. Contrary to popular belief, this is not a design flaw. This is Monster Hunter again, testing your faith. Are you the kind of man who shuts the fuck up and deals with shit on your own? Or are you the kind of guy who convinces every single one of his friends to buy a PSP, or at least buy Monster Hunter. Do you know why X-Link Kai is such a bitch to setup? Because Monster Hunter doesn't give a fuck how much you dislike it. You will either play it on your own, as I do, or you will man up and install that bitch.
Go buy Monster Hunter. Right the fuck now.