Deus Ex Alpha

What I want to know:

- How have you been?

Anxiety from drugs.
Unhealthy weightloss causing mood swings.
Shut in.
Unemployed.

Same old, same old.

Another one:

Why did you return? Not that I mind, but it seemed that you actually managed to successfully leave this forum, something I tried to do many times, but failed to do so.

In my ignorance. I'm not even here, I never came back. I'm here on a bored account after telling Ruben to post a message for me.

I feel some things need to be put in my perspective for the small group of public viewers, drama-less and on a semi-positive note.

Alright, thank you for answering my questions

I wish you the best, and small note to posters:

Please, keep it clean/nice.

I'm not going to have any questions am I?, everyone's in bed.

I'm just gonna say what I've been thinking about.

After just reading this thread for the first time in my few minutes of logging in here, it brings the false accusation was apparently banned over distaste over a rule I made up. I didn't make up any rules at all by my recollection or at least I don't think I did.

Infact, I don't think my ban had anything to do with the public topic.

After posting "Rape is not funny." I decided to break the ice with a playful warning, showing some more in depth personal distaste so the subject. I announce I will warn for a month (this is my only fault, they're labeled as 2 weeks) anyone who makes a rape joke after this post (to me) an exgarrated "What if?" situation which while I mocked the scenario I made it sound as unpleasant as I can in a serious way. I carry on this approach for 3 more posts. I find myself a little annoyed at Alex's post but understand MrBlack's shortly lived humour following my reaction to Alex.

What followed was a minor confrontation with Alex I didn't understand as I assumed Alex at the time was either displeased with me at the time in general, trying to defend Batch or just not in a good mood. But this didn't really matter to me just yet.

I was hoping/dreading Batch would keep joking about rape so I could line up those 4 yellows but he posted "Since you have never been raped, YOU do not know what it's like Therefor i am free to joke about it as much as i like.", which bubbled me up a little. I openly discussed by biggest shame and most disturbing event of my life to show how serious this actually means to me. To no avail, the jokes continued.

I waited for 1 more warning opportunity. I got the chance to crudely do it after hilarious confusion over Dex's blue post. I quickly made a crude image in humor and opened up a window where Batch could post something, I got bored of waiting and applied all 4 aces on his poker table.

THIS is how I got banned!:

I moved it to cybertrash to have a word with Alex, about something that I thought that was a direct insult at me that wasn't worth mentioning in public. I was wrong and a flamewar started, a small but proper flamewar. After petty insults thrown back and forth, Dae's second post in the private version of the topic was the one that made me bubble more than my traumatic memory:

Jay, next time you warn/ban a visitor for a stupid reason...

Ignoring everything after "stupid reason", I saw stupid reason stupid reason stupid reason ringing inside my head for the next few moments. I paniced and my mouth dropped at a post on the internet! THE INTERNET! I had NEVER felt so offended in my entire life! My God! To me it was more than personal now with what I posted, I was hoping he'll understand my approach but the fact he used the word "stupid" insulted feelings towards my late friend. MrBlack noticed this without me pointing it out... the events could of been a lot different if he didn't use the word stupid. I've actually came here for an apology as it honestly breaks my pride and makes me a little restless that not everyone knows this. I gave my leave, in the form of:

stupid reason

Oh
my
God.

Delete my fucking account, now.

I logged out that's it, it really only took one post.

That's all.

Oh, that didn't mention why I got banned at all?, no it didn't. Because this was a story of how I left, I didn't know why I was banned as mentioned next

--------------------------------------------------

Misc.
I didn't even know I was banned until MrBlack informed me the next day, this irritated me a bit because I asked to be deleted not banned and the fact that I still got banned -yet I didn't ban/warn another user-

I'm amused that MrBlack actually included my name in his journal post, I really told him not to include me as I honestly have no direct meddling with his leave.

Dex quoted me to Dae's birthday topic to me once, I got a too annoyed at the "I bet he still visits :p" comment. I only 'visited' 3 times after accidentally clicking last visited within the week of my ban. I find it also displeasing that Nobody prevented the requested deleting of that topic. It was my birthday you asshole

Some people asked me along the clustered lines of: "IT'S BECAUSE OF EMMA ISN'T IT LIKE LAST TIME BECAUSE OF THE CLOWN YOU'RE A FUCKING CUNT LIAR STOP SNIFFING HER ASS AND GET DISGUSTED AT THINGS YOU GET DISGUSTED AT" at the time, I was not speaking to Emma since late October. Because I didn't want anyone to know I never brought it up. We only started talking again since late January. I did however indirectly refer to Emma as the unnamed woman who would be pissed off if she seen these jokes.

I was very flabbergastered about the events after me making Derek moderator out of nothing but my own reasons and actions. I was very upset due to this and never got the recognition from the admins for entirely closing and completely ending a long running tale of drama.

Speaking of admins, I blame the lack of social links between me and Daedalus. I don't think he really cares what I do on the forum unless I ban people, that's the only time he really communicated me for those last 2-3 months other than statements or queries to me. I didn't see him online in a long while.

I think this post is all muddled up oh god what a pile of shit heres a fraps test I've made lately with my new computer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NYqK1SDgSg&fmt=18

edit: be arsed about any errors.

All I have to say is wow... clears up some things. I still don't like the fact that you're leaving, but I don't blame you.

I have my reasons for disliking the topic, and I was going to post them too but after seeing your post it actually shocked me, seriously shocked me that you would share so much personal information and then Batch would continue to joke about it even further.

I still find the whole topic fucked, I think it could have been avoided entirely. I personally believe Batch deserves to be banned, even if he may have been flame baited (I can't really tell if he was or not) because you still choose your own actions. Even if you are provoked you still decide whether you do something or not, not the person who provoked you.

I don't have any questions. I never really did, I didn't know what to ask. But your topic was insightful. As for the "IT'S BECAUSE OF EMMA ISN'T IT LIKE LAST TIME BECAUSE OF THE CLOWN YOU'RE A FUCKING CUNT LIAR STOP SNIFFING HER ASS AND GET DISGUSTED AT THINGS YOU GET DISGUSTED AT" line, people should learn to mind their own fucking business.

I'll get disgusted at anything I fucking want, as will you and anyone else. Try and stop me.

EDIT: Never mind, Psychotic will have another cry if i don't edit this post.

Damn, I wanted to read it and cry too. I knew you would post something in reply though, probably because I did say "I personally believe Batch deserves to be banned" and meh, that's just my personal opinion.

You have no warnings and I don't think you will get banned, I doubt you will. But like I said, it's my opinion and mine alone. I'm not too worried if the majority of users here don't agree with it or not.

Psychotic wrote:Damn, I wanted to read it and cry too. I knew you would post something in reply though, probably because I did say "I personally believe Batch deserves to be banned" and meh, that's just my personal opinion.

You have no warnings and I don't think you will get banned, I doubt you will. But like I said, it's my opinion and mine alone. I'm not too worried if the majority of users here don't agree with it or not.

Wait, what's that?

Okay let me rephrase that for you, smart ass:

PERMANENTLY BANNED.

We all understand now? All well and clear now?

Psy Psy Psy, calm down. However, I do understand what you meant. It makes me a little upset that they like to give chances around here (pacifist(?) approach to moderating). If I had it my complete way anyone who attacked dxalpha or the community would stay banned permanently. But that's my way.

Anyway, nothing to do with topic.

James wrote:Speaking of admins, I blame the lack of social links between me and Daedalus. I don't think he really cares what I do on the forum unless I ban people, that's the only time he really communicated me for those last 2-3 months other than statements or queries to me. I didn't see him online in a long while.

It's not that I don't care, sometimes I can't understand what are you doing (like with banning for mention of CoD5?), and I get extremely upset -- I admit at times it may be somewhat spontaneous -- when something is done unfairly by an admin or moderator in relation to a regular forum user. It's not really about particular forum rules and it isn't artificially "forced" thing of mine, it comes naturally and I can't help myself.

Speaking of "stupid reason", I do understand what you mean now but I didn't realize that you could've thought the other way back then. "Stupid reason" related solely to the 4 warning rule thing, not "rape"... :/

Speaking of "permanent bans", I'd rather comment it in a personal talk. You're absolutely right about lack of communication. I don't hang in msn and I much more prefer gtalk over it now.
(MSN too much reminds me of DXMP...)

Unfortunately, some people will never lighten up.

Yeah I was also flabbergasted about the moderator actions and how nothing basically changed and no one noticed.

But thanks again, m8.

eeh hi

cataclyzm wrote:Yeah I was also flabbergasted about the moderator actions and how nothing basically changed and no one noticed.

But thanks again, m8.

I uh, don't know how to react to the first line. I can't tell whenever it's confusion or sarcasm.

If confusion: you mean how no one cared I left? For the best really. The not so honest approach does irritate me a little so that's why I wanted to set things straight (what was mentioned in this thread wasn't why I was banned, and the fact I didn't actually make any new rules up) before leaving this topic.

If sarcasm: ffffffff, let me rephrase that line I posted because your post kind of seems like you took offense:
I was upset and shocked about the confrontation with the admins. I was hoping they'd understand my devotion by spontanously making Derek a moderator without anyone's consent or influence. As stated previously I was hoping to gain respect, I felt betrayed by the admins with the drama that caused my absense.

Kaiden wrote:eeh hi

FUCK OFF KAIDEN I'VE SPOKEN TO YOU ON STEAM FOR THE LAST 2 MONTHS BABY SITTING YOU EVERY DAY AND YOU GOT ME FUCK ALL FOR VALENTINES DAY

James wrote:

cataclyzm wrote:Yeah I was also flabbergasted about the moderator actions and how nothing basically changed and no one noticed.

But thanks again, m8.

I uh, don't know how to react to the first line. I can't tell whenever it's confusion or sarcasm.

If confusion: you mean how no one cared I left? For the best really. The not so honest approach does irritate me a little so that's why I wanted to set things straight (what was mentioned in this thread wasn't why I was banned, and the fact I didn't actually make any new rules up) before leaving this topic.

If sarcasm: ffffffff, let me rephrase that line I posted because your post kind of seems like you took offense:
I was upset and shocked about the confrontation with the admins. I was hoping they'd understand my devotion by spontanously making Derek a moderator without anyone's consent or influence. As stated previously I was hoping to gain respect, I felt betrayed by the admins with the drama that caused my absense.

Kaiden wrote:eeh hi

FUCK OFF KAIDEN I'VE SPOKEN TO YOU ON STEAM FOR THE LAST 2 MONTHS BABY SITTING YOU EVERY DAY AND YOU GOT ME FUCK ALL FOR VALENTINES DAY

Confusion lol.

Sarcasm has no place on the internet.

James wrote:
FUCK OFF KAIDEN I'VE SPOKEN TO YOU ON STEAM FOR THE LAST 2 MONTHS BABY SITTING YOU EVERY DAY AND YOU GOT ME FUCK ALL FOR VALENTINES DAY

All I have is this candy bar!

cataclyzm wrote:

James wrote:

cataclyzm wrote:Yeah I was also flabbergasted about the moderator actions and how nothing basically changed and no one noticed.

But thanks again, m8.

I uh, don't know how to react to the first line. I can't tell whenever it's confusion or sarcasm.

If confusion: you mean how no one cared I left? For the best really. The not so honest approach does irritate me a little so that's why I wanted to set things straight (what was mentioned in this thread wasn't why I was banned, and the fact I didn't actually make any new rules up) before leaving this topic.

If sarcasm: ffffffff, let me rephrase that line I posted because your post kind of seems like you took offense:
I was upset and shocked about the confrontation with the admins. I was hoping they'd understand my devotion by spontanously making Derek a moderator without anyone's consent or influence. As stated previously I was hoping to gain respect, I felt betrayed by the admins with the drama that caused my absense.

Kaiden wrote:eeh hi

FUCK OFF KAIDEN I'VE SPOKEN TO YOU ON STEAM FOR THE LAST 2 MONTHS BABY SITTING YOU EVERY DAY AND YOU GOT ME FUCK ALL FOR VALENTINES DAY

Confusion lol.

Sarcasm has no place on the internet.

r u bein sarcastic

Right, this is the last time you'll ever see me. I'm logging out forever now.

As the spy from TF2 gloats:

This!, will be the last time you see me.

I GIVE IT A DAY

Good luck eh.

Few minutes before he comes back to check if anyone's replied to his post.

James89th zegt (18:29):
Copy this (my msn name too), infact the entire logs.

Basically, "I don't need to log in to check."
James89th zegt (18:29):
"I'm browsing by guest"
James89th zegt (18:29):
also "Mainman you autistic fag."