Jam

[Conceited]

Well, really I have nothing against Jam itself. I, in fact, am quite fond of a spot of jam, particularly strawberry jam, on toast or something equally as edible. We all love jam now and again, right? I'm sure we all have fond memories of jam, but I'm sure a good number of us have bad memories of the substance we have come to love.

And so my story begins. I've had a great day, watched The Libertine with someone special, which is a fucking weird film, although i didn't see all of it. The day carried on being excellent and a few hours later we ended up at the cinema, to watch 'Waiting..', which is absolutely fucking hilarious, btw. Anyway, all was well, fun was had by all..until I got home. It was about 11.30 when I got back and I hadn't eaten for about 10 hours, I've had an awfully active day, so I thought I'd grab some food. Is there any fucking food in the house? is there fuck. Unless you like butter, puppy feed or milk, in which case, you're in heaven. So I'm searching high and low, no super noodles, no flapjack, nothing. I have cleared out pretty much every cupboard and my most appealing option, apart from a puppy-feed sandwich, was an out-of-date Muller light. I opened it..and well, fuck that. So the coffee cupboard was the final option, in which I found jam..strawberry jam. 'Thank god for jam' I thought to myself, as I applied it to the bread. And then...BANG..fucking jam goes all over the side and my hand and everything. That sticky feeling you get when you've had jam on your hand is so fucking annoying and yet, however hard I try, I can't get rid of it. So yeah, overall, my hands feel sticky. Hope you enjoyed the story. Perhaps I should write a book.

Thanks for your time. (and fuck jam).

-Tom x

[Cureless_Poison]

This seems a little random...sorry for your sticky mis-fortune,hope you dont have any-more sticky ordeals

[C:Enter:£££]

"This is gonna be one of those parties where I stick ma dick in the mash potayta!"

Waiting fucking rules!

[Chococat]

no super noodles,

Supernoodles are the bestest food ever!!

I ate them yesterday, I ate them today, and I shall eat them tomorrow!

Hate jam though, bleah squished fruit on bread?!!?

[C:Enter:£££]

Banana sarnies! lol The best noodles ever are Pepperami Roast Chicken I wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone of you for a packet of the sweetness...

[Lazer]

Last night i had Octopus Carpaccio, and then fillet steak in a champignon and marsala sauce topped with pate for mains. Didn't have enough room for desert.

Fist time i tried octopus, tasted like tuna to be fair. My fillet steak was superb (medium rare, the only way it should be cooked) but the pate was a bit too rich and intense in flavour, especially with the sauce. In hindisght, i would've preferred it without the steak topped with pate.

fillet steak > Super noodles > Octopus carpaccio

[MrBlackDX]

The real question is;

Strawberry or Raspberry?

[C:Enter:£££]

Mixed with apple?

[James]

Toe Jam and Earl.

[C:Enter:£££]

Get down with the funky beat beat come on get down with the beat!

[~D[A]rren~]

no super noodles,

Supernoodles are the bestest food ever!!

I ate them yesterday, I ate them today, and I shall eat them tomorrow!

Hate jam though, bleah squished fruit on bread?!!?

I was reading this at half 8 this morning in work, and I thought of you lol. You best be back to eating proper meals now missy!

[Chococat]

I was reading this at half 8 this morning in work, and I thought of you lol. You best be back to eating proper meals now missy!

Haha I live off noodles. Was makin ma lunch this afternoon (noodles of course!) and my Mum was like "WTF Emma, no nutrition and tiny portion size no wonder you're losing so much weight ¬_¬"

Fist time i tried octopus, tasted like tuna to be fair.

Like tuna!? Wtf! Calamari is delishhsshh but they must've cooked it wrong if it came out tasting like tuna the first time you had it!!

[~D[A]rren~]

I was reading this at half 8 this morning in work, and I thought of you lol. You best be back to eating proper meals now missy!

Haha I live off noodles. Was makin ma lunch this afternoon (noodles of course!) and my Mum was like "WTF Emma, no nutrition and tiny portion size no wonder you're losing so much weight ¬_¬"

Fist time i tried octopus, tasted like tuna to be fair.

Like tuna!? Wtf! Calamari is delishhsshh but they must've cooked it wrong if it came out tasting like tuna the first time you had it!!

Grrr, Eat proper meals! Tut! If you was still in Preston now I'd literally drag you to some restaurant and make you eat a meal!

[xProtocol Rain]

"This is gonna be one of those parties where I stick ma dick in the mash potayta!"

Waiting fucking rules!

Dood were the hell did this come from?! O_O

[Chococat]

Grrr, Eat proper meals! Tut! If you was still in Preston now I'd literally drag you to some restaurant and make you eat a meal!

I don't need to! Noodles, alcohol and pro-plus are all I need

[Spiderbot01]

Apricot Jam> Jay

[~D[A]rren~]

Grrr, Eat proper meals! Tut! If you was still in Preston now I'd literally drag you to some restaurant and make you eat a meal!

I don't need to! Noodles, alcohol and pro-plus are all I need

Your sooooooooooo gunna regret saying that in September!

[Dae]

Well, really I have nothing against Jam itself. I, in fact, am quite fond of a spot of jam, particularly strawberry jam, on toast or something equally as edible. We all love jam now and again, right? I'm sure we all have fond memories of jam, but I'm sure a good number of us have bad memories of the substance we have come to love.

And so my story begins. I've had a great day, watched The Libertine with someone special, which is a fucking weird film, although i didn't see all of it. The day carried on being excellent and a few hours later we ended up at the cinema, to watch 'Waiting..', which is absolutely fucking hilarious, btw. Anyway, all was well, fun was had by all..until I got home. It was about 11.30 when I got back and I hadn't eaten for about 10 hours, I've had an awfully active day, so I thought I'd grab some food. Is there any fucking food in the house? is there fuck. Unless you like butter, puppy feed or milk, in which case, you're in heaven. So I'm searching high and low, no super noodles, no flapjack, nothing. I have cleared out pretty much every cupboard and my most appealing option, apart from a puppy-feed sandwich, was an out-of-date Muller light. I opened it..and well, fuck that. So the coffee cupboard was the final option, in which I found jam..strawberry jam. 'Thank god for jam' I thought to myself, as I applied it to the bread. And then...BANG..fucking jam goes all over the side and my hand and everything. That sticky feeling you get when you've had jam on your hand is so fucking annoying and yet, however hard I try, I can't get rid of it. So yeah, overall, my hands feel sticky. Hope you enjoyed the story. Perhaps I should write a book.

Thanks for your time. (and fuck jam).

-Tom x

You should definitely write a book

[C:Enter:£££]

"This is gonna be one of those parties where I stick ma dick in the mash potayta!"

Waiting fucking rules!

Dood were the hell did this come from?! O_O

Quote from the film Waiting...

[xProtocol Rain]

"This is gonna be one of those parties where I stick ma dick in the mash potayta!"

Waiting fucking rules!

Dood were the hell did this come from?! O_O

Quote from the film Waiting...

Ah, never seen it. :O

[C:Enter:£££]

The more immature you are the more funny it is, I found it hilarious... wonder why >.>

[Psykorgasm]

The more immature you are the more funny it is, I found it hilarious... wonder why >.>

Lmao, "I'll give her the bowling ball grip, 2 in the pink! 1 in the stink!"

[Lazer]

Fist time i tried octopus, tasted like tuna to be fair.

Like tuna!? Wtf! Calamari is delishhsshh but they must've cooked it wrong if it came out tasting like tuna the first time you had it!!

Yes, Octopus DOES taste like tuna. Calamari is not Octopus. Calamari is squid rings and is gorgeous.

[Siva]

Marmalade = F**king win.

[C:Enter:£££]

Capturing AIDs > Marmalaid

[Siva]

Ehh, what?

[C:Enter:£££]

Sorry, I just woke up. Getting AID's > Marmalaid

[Snakey]

I despise the sticky feeling.

[Conceited]

finally, someone with some sense.

[C:Enter:£££]

I just hate jam so no sticky jam experiences for me w00t!